one of those days..

Too bad it can't always be clear. I know how much he loves me. [God] Well no, I know that I could never grasp his love for me. I know that i've been through such hard times, been rude, suffered, lost really close people, left my home town, my favorite place ever. Yet his love is as strong as ever. I would say I just picked up my cross & followed him, but it took a year to actually do that. I never knew I would be so happy here. This town is absolutely wonderful. Now it's happening again..ugh. I now heard, the one town we were thinking of moving to, isn't even for sure. Life is never easy. Life is never blissful. Only for a moment. Why can't I still see how much he loves me everyday? Even though every little thing that day goes wrong for example: no toilet paper in the stall. Yes everything down to that little. There are so many other things that I don't let bother me, which is stupid to let it bother me. But when I looked at things I could let bother me, it's incredible. When I look at what's happening, I cannot believe how much God has/will/continues to lift off of me. It's still extremely hard don't get me wrong. I wish I was in Florida more than anything. It's sooooo hard & sucks so bad. But my God is bigger than the pain. Seems you just have those days..and things are just not as good as they could be. That's when I pray hard. That's when I come back to the conclusion, i've got nothing to be worrying about. When I really look at it, worrying is so stupid. What can be big enough to worry about? Where does worrying get you? What is there that God doesn't have 100% control over?? Yes. Nothing. Dumb right? Haha it really is a waste. Life is good. No, God is good. What more can I say than that? Well..I know no one will probably read this, but I just really needed to get it out. 'Cause it's one of those days...where I just want to cry, but God holds them back. I've no reason to. I'm stressed yes, but in reality, he has control over it, and Knows EXACTLY what he is doing. I just need to hear it again.